Unforgiving numbness
by CherrySaku-chan
Summary: The minute she didn't hear the sound of her parents welcoming her home, she knew something wasn't right. sasusaku
1. Chapter 1

**Well, uh, this is my first story and I think it's okay...and stuff....please read and review because otherwise I'll think it's rubbish.**

**Oh...and this is SasuSaku, and it's an AU so if you don't like that pairing or you don't like AU's then don't read it...**

**unforgiving numbness**

The sky was bright blue, an innocent backdrop for the scene, not overpowering, just mild and naive. A warm orange sun was at the side, the jewel of the setting, a mere accessory. Tall, wise trees were dotted around, bent into strange shapes, surrounded by apple green grass. In the healthy green grass were flowers, of every kind; almost like sweets of every flavour in a stall of pick 'n' mix at the cinema. A light breeze blew through the scene, making everything sway.

When did this scene stop comforting me?

When did I stop desiring this?

When did I become disturbed by this?

I remember when it began. It was a warm, summer afternoon. The sun was heavy in the sky, the street looking sun kissed and beautiful. My schoolbag; a hello kitty messenger bag hung across my shoulders as I ran home. Why was I so eager? Because my Mother and Father had come home for once - back from the business trips and the foreignness.

Running through the door, I waited for the warm aroma of cooking dinner or the kind, happy feeling of my parents comforting embrace. I didn't receive either though; but I did receive something, the sound of the phone ringing. Walking over, I casually picked it up and said "Hello". The person on the other end sounded sick, like they needed to talk to a doctor. "Hello, Sakura-san....go upstairs. Into fathers study." Automatically, I thought 'no'. Father always told me not to go into his study.

Slowly, I wandered up the stairs, the sound of a slow current of trickling water trickling down each window; it was raining. It took me the time of reaching the landing before I realized it wasn't raining, and the noise wasn't even coming from the window. It was coming from Father's study. Running over, I threw open the door and saw exactly what I didn't want to see.

Blood, crimson and thick everywhere. Everything was covered in it, apart from me. Me and the figure in the corner. That monster at the side, laughing cruelly. The monster from the phone. The sick, sick man who'd done this. "Little Sakura-san, with no one to run to." He offered a hand.

What I felt was indescribable, horrifying. A disgusted hatred, waiting to come unleashed, dancing in my guts. What if he'd gotten to everyone else? What if I'd suddenly become the last of my family, the last Haruno? Then I screamed, like never before. "YOU MONSTER! WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU? I...I HATE YOU" things blacked out.

Five years after that moment, I was sat in my bedroom. I'd had to move house because I couldn't afford to live like that. No money was coming in after...after there was no one bringing money in. I'd moved school, not wanting any unwanted attention. It was getting late, 12:30 am, so I changed into my pyjamas and climbed under my warm sheets.

I awoke at about 2:00am, to the sound of my phone ringing. Wandering through the door, I began to search for the ringing device. Then it hit me, like a slap across my pale face; I don't own a phone. Never needed one, it's not like I have anyone to talk to...

**Well, theres chapter 1. If you don't like this then, uh, please tell me...but please don't yell at me. Might do more chapters...**


	2. Chapter 2

Looking around, the fear took over and not gently. First, my hands went cold, and then I felt my blood freezing; or at least slowing down. My heart was racing, but I wasn't reacting. That was when I noticed the device, on top of all the work.

Picking it up, I pressed the 'answer' button and put the device to my ear. The same voice from all those years ago croaked into the receiver, "Sakura-san, the park. Go there now...and I can tell you why-" then the phone went dead. Silently, I began crying with fear, as I pulled out my shoes. Pulling on my converse, I looked at my outfit with slight disgust. White jogging pants (with a two yellow stripes down the side) with a yellow tank top. Running outside, my head flew from side to side, checking for traffic. When there wasn't any, I ran across, turned and ran down the road. Finally, I reached the park.

Walking in, I could already sense the fear spreading through my body like fear like poison. I could already see him, stood, in his ridiculous black coat with the upturned collar. Running over, I muttered a, "Hello" and waited for his reply. I could only see his eyes, lurking through the bit where both edges of the collar met. "We can't talk here..." He murmured, I just nodded and we walked away.

Wandering into a small, run down building, he turned to me. My face was fixed into a glaring expression, fuelled by the hate that had lived inside me for years. I hated, how I couldn't see him, how I felt so weak, how I wanted to just be normal...without the fear. "Why are you scared?" He mocked me, so openly; almost as if I belonged to him. I guess he thought he did too.

"I want answers...." I said, my voice suddenly becoming more of a stutter than I'd hoped for. I could tell he found this funny, as he passed me a glass of water. Must've thought I'd be stupid enough to accept water from him, might be drugged or something. But it seemed I didn't have much choice as he forced the vile liquid down my throat. I could feel myself slipping, falling into his arms. Then I couldn't see, maybe I was going blind? But that didn't matter...what mattered was that I managed to get to sleep...


	3. Chapter 3

Wow...I opened my email and I had so many emails from fanfic saying that people reviewed and added my story to story alert....it makes me so happy! Thanks...and I will try and make the chapters longer, that's a promise (believe it!).

Oh, I realized I forgot to put in a disclaimer, so here's one here.

Disclaimer; I don't own Naruto. If I did, my name would be Masashi Kishimoto, Sasuke wouldn't be being so mean in the manga and I'd actually be another gender (and that would be weird...).

ENJOY!

My eyes opened, and at once I knew this wasn't where I should've fallen asleep. Lying in a strange dark room, with black sheets around me and I felt awfully sick. "Finally..." A voice shot from in the background. I shot up at the sound of that voice, but soon regretted it at the sick noise my joints made. And not sick in a cool way (unless you're a sadist or something).

"I didn't like what you've been wearing lately, so I changed it darling..." his voice came again. I hated this man so much, and I turned about seventy different shades of red. Mother fudging paedophile (A/N I don't like swearing...well...I do...but if my sister read it, she'd go mental...literally!). "But, Sakura-san, if you truly hate me, then you wouldn't keep coming back. Or is it someone else here...that keeps you coming back?" I looked away, but his strange yellow eyes still followed mine. "Why do you hate me so? I didn't kill your family...that was just one of my henchmen under orders. Hate him instead." But I knew I couldn't. "Orochimaru" I cursed him.

"I'll keep you for a while, my precious doll....later I shall send Sasuke with your lunch." Why did my heart leap at that name? The one who murdered my family without mercy and only spared me because he was under strict orders not to. I just prayed he was in a good mood.

"Oi, Here's your food." I looked up, and my eyes met his. Almost at once, I felt like it was the same scene all over again. Only my parents weren't a disgusting mess on the floor in front of me. I could tell he was shocked for a moment, but it faded as smugness took over. "Hey! I murdered your Mum didn't I?" he could tell I hated him though. I knew he could. Reaching out, I snatched the plate from him, and began eating. It tasted like it'd been prepared well...about 7 years ago. Stroking my hair, he crouched next to me, his eyes fixed on me, fascinated. Almost like I was an animal in a zoo.

After I'd finished, he wouldn't go away. I asked, pleaded, begged him to go...but he wouldn't. Some part of him that enjoyed annoying a girl who'd been locked in a room by a snake paedophile. "It's okay, dear. I won't leave if you don't want me too..." his voice was in a mock-caring tone. I hated that tone. That tone that so openly mocked the parents he took away.

Around an hour later, I found myself being let out. Wrapped in fresh clothes with a letter in my pocket, a letter which I wasn't allowed to read until I got home, I stumbled along the hard pavement. When I finally reached the familiar pathway, with the little red front door and the cute little windows, I could feel my heart lift in my chest. My first thought was to phone Ino, my only friend. But this thought dissolved slightly when I remembered how she got when I didn't tell her things. Quite frankly, not telling her that I knew who murdered my family (and successfully turned me emo) was and wasn't telling the police was a crime against Ino-pigginess. And that is a word. I did have a phone now, I think...since they kindly donated one to me. They probably wanted to use it to scare me, and they'd already succeeded. When I saw my carpet though, I instantly changed my mind. Suddenly, the only thing I wanted to do was phone Ino-pig and let it all gush out. So I did.

The only time I ever phoned Ino, was when I was in high school. The day that my (only) male friend, Kiba, told me he didn't want to associate with me. I, as a young, teenage girl was absolutely angry. I'd gone outside and used a public phone, and thankfully (for kiba's sake) Ino calmed me down though, made things better and stopped the hurting. Picking up the phone, I dialled the numbers, the numbers I'd (unsuccessfully) tried to forget for my entire life.

"Hello, Yamanaka residence, who is speaking please?" Ino's voice was still loud and chirpy as it'd ever been, unchanged. Gulping, I mumbled into the device, "um...hello.....I...Ino." When did I pick up the unfortunate habit of stuttering? I was nervous, and Ino was scary when she was angry at someone for not calling her for years because they were scared they might get her involved and get her killed. "...f...forehead....? Wow! You have some nerve calling me after you abandoned me! What the hell do you want?" this is what I'd been scared of. "...Ino...I need to tell you something. But, I'll come over to your house...If you don't mind. This is really important though...it's about my mum and dad...." her voice didn't come back for a minute, but when it did, it was quiet. "Okay, Sakura. Come over quickly though, using those outdoor phones are cold and you never know _who's_ listening in." So I did.

Changing once again, I pulled on some black skinny jeans, yellow converse (A/N those awesomesauce ones that say 'all-star' on them) and a Paramore t-shirt, I walked out of my front door and into a world I could never trust.

A/N

Was that longer? I hope it was, it took me ages! My computer didn't understand the word 'awesomesauce' which made me angry and I had to add it to the dictionary. Oh, and I'd like to know; do people want lots of short-ish chapters (not uber short, but not uber long) or not as regularly updated longer chapters (like this kind of length)?

Read and Review...please...I like to know how I can improve. But constructive criticism, not destructive...pretty please?


	4. Chapter 4

A/N

I haven't updated in an age...so here's another chapter. I hate authors who have a really good idea but they never ever update!

Standing on Ino's doorstep was scary enough, without the thought of all those people who could be watching (mainly from that snake paedo). I'd totally ignored her for years, utter years! I really did have some nerve just calling her...but I couldn't think about this now; it was essential for me to talk to Ino! I rang the doorbell, my finger slipping and making the chime sound old and sick. Ino answered the door and ushered me inside.

"Sak-what the hell are you wearing?" same old Ino, determined to create a fashionable world, without weirdoes like me (A/N Hey...Ino's mean...I dress like that...). "I just threw it on...but this is much more important than that!" Ino nodded, bringing some coke from the fridge and gesturing to the couch. I sat down, grateful of the comfort it brought. "Ino...the person who murdered my family...I know who he is, and who sent him and I'm really confused and (I began crying) a-and...I don't know wha-*sob*what to d-do..." I cried into one of her cushions. "What the hell forehead? Why are you confused?" I looked at her, shame clouding over.

"...B-because I think I'm in love with the man who killed my parents..." I immediately regretted saying it, I'd just admitted it. Suddenly, she got this dreamy look on her face. "A forbidden love, between a girl and a murderer!" she began giggling in the kind of way women do when they think about things they dream of. "Shut up Ino!" I blushed madly, trying to hide it with my bangs. It failed though...and it only seemed to confirm Ino's suspicions. I'd backed myself into a corner I knew I couldn't get out of.

"So in other words, you fancy the dude who killed your family, you hate the guy who ordered him to do it and you're worried they're going to kidnap you?" I nodded, feeling a little stupid. Ino laughed, teeth gritted. "This is going to get scary...what are they, Yakuza?" I found myself asking the same thing, were they? "Probably...I've never really thought about it..." I mumbled. These days, whenever I spoke, it usually came out as a mumble. "Wait a second! I do not fancy the guy who killed my family!" I glared scarily at her. "Yeah...sure...if you say so..." She said sarcastically. I didn't have the energy to argue back though, so I didn't.

"Bye Ino...I'll make sure I come over again as soon as it's all sorted...okay?" She nodded, and I nodded to. I gave her a quick hug, before waving and running across the street. I didn't miss the tear that dribbled down her cheek...she hadn't nothing to worry about really; it wasn't anything truly scary I was dealing with.

Walking cautiously into my house, I checked that nothing had changed. Apart from the clutter that showed they'd gone through my things; thank god I don't keep a diary. A walked over to my bed, and lay down. I didn't bother to change into my pyjamas though, because my only pair had mysteriously disappeared. That snake paedo probably decided that they were lovely and he needed them to wear himself...even though we aren't the same size.

I drifted off to sleep...and at once regretted it. Dreams haunted me, wind blew through my mysteriously open window and sleeping gas blew through the key hole.

A/N

Sorry the chapters really short...I'm going camping and I'm ultra-busy so this is all I had time to write. Next chapter will be longer, okay?

Bye!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N

I read this review, and suddenly got a little worried...how is Sasuke going to fall for her. So, I thought I'd write a chapter from Sasuke's point of view; and see if I could sort of...ugh...you know what I mean...direct it to more SasuSaku-sh-ness (if that's a word...)

Sasuke POV

I sat in my small room, the one _he_ provided for me. When did I start working for him? I've forgotten...so long ago that it's been agonizing waiting for death to catch up with me. I'm sure Itachi got me into it; he always got me into these kinds of things. I could hear Karin, the only girl who worked here, annoying Suigetsu (another henchman) downstairs. Something about how I belonged to her and Suigetsu could never change that. Even though my heart was already someone else's.

The door opened, to reveal Lord Orochimaru's most trusted follower Kabuto. He held out an envelope, and I took it. I hated what he was making me do...acting like I didn't care seemed to hurt when it involved _her_. Having to put on this facade that was obviously failing...how I just wanted her to understand...to help me. I am, and always will be, a puppet of Lord Orochimaru. I sold my soul, because I thought I didn't care.

The words on the page made my heart sink, nothing to do with her. I missed her, the way her eyes were so sad (that sounds so emo!)...the way her hair just sort of flicked out...I really missed it. More than I missed my Mother, my Father or that wretched brother (A/N No offence, Itachi-fans; this is just Sasuke's nastiness towards his brother. I'm sure he loves him really...but not in that way...). Apparently, I had to kill some old man named Jiraiya...a pornography writer. Lord Orochimaru hated him...they used to go to school together, Jiraiya bullied him. This basically consisted of calling him 'snake-freak' and stealing his girlfriend (Tsunade).

Stepping out of my car, I eyed the building with guilty eyes. The man must have been quite rich; because it was a very luxurious building he was living in (a mansion). I walked over to the window, and carefully picked the lock. It seemed like there was no one there, so I climbed through the window silently, and stepped onto the cream white carpet. Then, I walked over to the staircase and began to climb.

When I reached the top, I began to check each room. The seventh one I checked gave me a rather nasty shock though. There was a note on the door, which said 'Tsunade's student' on it, and inside was the girl whose parents I murdered. A tear pulled on the edge of my eye, as I walked over to her side and stroked her hair. I would have to hurt her again, that feeling made me pained in ways I'd never imagined. But surely the old pervert wasn't that close to her, was he? It seemed like his girlfriend was her teacher, but that was about it. Maybe her teacher would go into depression, and that would cause her pain...but that still wouldn't be as bad as what I'd already done.

I didn't want this, anymore. I wanted to return to a warm home...with her waiting...not a cold, underground building with Karin waiting. But, before I could get truly lost in thought, I realized that her eyes had opened. A shocked, no, terrified expression danced across her beautiful, pale face and she tried to edge away from me. That wasn't going to work though; didn't she see that I'd already captured her?

"I have been ordered to assassinate Jiraiya-san." I said, numbly. She stared in disbelief, obviously worried by my presence. "Why?" She asked quietly, hands folded on lap and a soft frown on her face. I felt almost like she understood me, but I knew she never would. "Because apparently Orochimaru-sama and Jiraiya-san knew each other during school, Jiraiya stole his girlfriend Tsunade and generally harassed him. I do not...wish to do this..." I mumbled. I knew she was shocked now, more shocked than before. "...This is a trick...isn't it?" Those words hurt more than I could imagine pain. "Orochimaru told you to toy with me, didn't he? I hate him." She said, just as quietly. I felt myself glare at the floor. "If he did...I mustn't have been listening..." I felt a trail of salty water dribble down my cheek, a looked up at her. She was blushing, the shade suited her.

Suddenly, I wanted to wake up and see that. I wanted to be the one to make her smile, to be the one to make her blush and to be the one to protect her. I wanted to be with her forever. "I'm leaving...come with me..." I said quietly. "What?" she asked; suddenly shocked. I looked at her, only pain haunting my coal black eyes. "I said I don't want to kill for someone else's pleasure anymore...and that I don't want to leave you ever again..." I mumbled. She nodded, "I trust people way to easily..." she mumbled back, I just nodded to her and pulled her into a hug. For now, we could be together. We'd move to another country tomorrow, for now, we'd sleep.

A/N

Was that as dumb as I thought it was...it totally sucked! I hate the way that Sakura suddenly just went ditzy...but it wouldn't have worked any other way...

All the same, please review. Please try to keep the criticism constructive though, because I already have quite low self esteem...people keep calling me emo!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N

I cannot believe I haven't written this in such a long time! I am such a jerk, aren't I? Anyone who waited can have an invisible cookie though.

(It's in Sakura's POV again)

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto does. I wish I did though.

The harsh wind blew against my soft pink hair, as me and Sasuke walked into the night. I had left Tsunade-shishou, my teacher; a note telling her what was going on. Well, most of it anyway. We had decided we would travel as far as we could, then move somewhere far away...maybe America? Sasuke said it was easy to make money in America, and we'd be able to start fresh there. I hoped he knew what he was talking about and we wouldn't end up being two homeless losers with no idea of where to go.

We had travelled for ages, but we had only just reached the old area I used to live in. It wouldn't be safe to go back into my house, so we just kept driving. However, we were both almost asleep when he reached the edge of town, so I suggested we crashed at Ino's. Sasuke was reluctant at first, but then saw my view (I threatened to shave his emo-hair, and he loves his emo-hair). Turning down a road, we came to Ino's house. Climbing out, we walked over to the front door, I was sure Ino would be out by the time we'd got to the doorway. Knocking, I silently prayed for a miracle. Ino answered the door, but she was in her pyjamas and it looked like she'd been watching a horror movie with some popcorn. She almost screamed when she saw Sasuke. "Sakura...who the hell is that?" she said, slightly embarrassed because she knew Sasuke was gorgeous and she was in her pyjamas. "This is Sasuke..." I said quietly. Ino squealed, happy to meet the person who she thought I fancied. "So, you're my Saku-chan's yakuza-boyfriend?" she asked, in an interrogator voice. Sasuke shrugged and looked at me pleadingly, and for once, I understood why.

Ino let us sleep in the guest room, which I was glad of after sleeping in the cold, rough car. However, I knew I'd need a bath before I could get into bed, so I headed into the bathroom. Climbing into the warm liquid, I sighed in pure happiness. I was in such a comfortable situation...finally. I rubbed soap across my body, but winced as it hit an open wound...

...hang on a second...an OPEN WOUND? When did that get there? My heart was slamming against my chest, my eyes bulging out of their sockets, a stutter of indescribable words slipping and sliding out of my lips. A massive cut was across my side, looking sore and stinging like there was no tomorrow. All the fear, all the pain combined the make the world most loud, hurt and terrified scream this world has ever seen. Ino burst in, and ran over. "What's wrong? Tell me, Sakura!" I tried to hide, not meet her gaze. However, Ino is strangely good at meeting people's eyes. Turning on one side, I showed the large cut that covered most of my pale body. I was so scared; it made me start to think that I'd never be safe!

Ino helped me get my pyjamas on, and made sure I was in bed okay. I was so glad she understood, if she didn't I think I might've gone insane. I cuddled up under the sheets, wishing to create some warmth...when he walked in. Fear built up inside me, even though I knew he wouldn't hurt me. I knew he was capable of it and that was enough to terrify me. He walked over to the side of the bed and climbed in with me. "Sasuke..." I mumbled softly, in which he turned to face me. Stroking my hair, he said equally quietly "Yes?" I looked into his deep, onyx eyes. They were so endless, beautiful; dark...I was lost in them before I could think to stop myself. "...I'm scared...I'm scarred...I'm bruised and I'm damaged beyond repair. So here it is; my heart, ruined and broken, so scared of pain that it is just being given away." I looked away. Sasuke reached out for me, and in the darkness, I fell into the darkness, but I was caught by him. I wanted to be falling...but falling with him. "Another heart, broken, scarred but if it's enough, you can have it." And it was then that I knew we belonged together. I leaned forward, and our lips met in a soft kiss.


End file.
